This was in my drafts folder. It was dated March 26, 2009, 2:08 PM. Apparently, there was to be a Care Group on that day, to be held in Tampines. I do not remember what exact address in Tampines, and whose house it would be in.
I want to scold the 2009 version of me. Bad Janice! Her schedule keeping habits were deplorable.
Anyway. Apparently I was excited and on fire. Good to be reminded every now and then 🙂
I have never been so happy as when I let go and let God.
I have never more ecstatic as when I’m praising and worshiping His name.
Now I understand bliss
Now I understand euphoria!
One of the greatest impacts of the grace of God in my life is my adopting the virtue of patience. I used to get so hotheaded and impatient over the littlest of things. Things had to go my way, and I can’t accept even the slightest deviation from what I think it should be. Now I accept that everything that happens is His divine will. I recognize the power of God over my life, and anticipate His influence over anything that I do.
Why is it easier to feel rushing emotion when it’s associated with sadness or pain?
I want to feel euphoria or spiritual fervor!
I want to feel passion for Him that’s not contrived and that comes from within.
Maybe I need this pain so that I’ll feel something? So that I’ll reach out to Him, so that I’ll realize that I can’t do it alone?
I want to subscribe to what I say, understand what I already know, embody the words that I’m reading about.