Making Love Last

²¹Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Wives and Husbands

²²Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. ²³For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

²⁵Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— ³⁰for we are members of his body. ³¹“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” ³²This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. ³³However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Ephesians 5:21-33

Introduction

• Recall the sort “walk” that is worthy of our calling:
  • walking together in unity (note: in communion with our community)
  • walking in truth and holiness (note: remembering our identity as Christians at all times)
  • walking in love, as light, and as wise
• In what appears at first to be an abrupt change of direction, Paul begins to describe how wives and husbands are to conduct themselves.
• However, the subject matter is not really as abrupt as it may appear, for Paul mentioned earlier:
  • how the Church is to make known the manifold wisdom of God (Ephesians 3:10)
  • how we are to walk in wisdom (Ephesians 5:15-16)
• It is through family relationships that we can often do this more successfully that in any other way.
  • Through marriage we immediately come into contact with another family.
  • Through children we develop relationships with those in their schools, in their neighbourhood, etc.
• Thus is it is through families that we have great potential to demonstrate the wisdom of God.
  • The same principles that underlie the Gospel message (submission, love, sacrifice, obedience, honesty, fairness) are to be displayed in our family relationships.
  • By example, then, we can demonstrate in our families what is truly good and right, and prepare others to be receptive to the Gospel message.

1. Everyone should submit to one another (v. 21)

• Being submissive does not equal being weak.

  • Note: On the contrary, it takes a special sort of strength to show restraint when one has a tendency towards the complete opposite.
• As children of God, we aim to be as Christ-like as possible.
  • Showing gentleness, humility, patience, and kindness in our actions and deeds at all times.
  • Ensuring that everything that comes out of our mouths is clean and kingdom-worthy and edifying.

Reflection: Are you still having problems with ‘submission’? What are some active, personal steps you can take in order to be a more submissive person?

2. Wives should submit to their husbands (v. 22-24, 34b)

• Note: Full personal disclosure: this was one of the hardest verses for me to understand fully in the Bible.

• Wives are to follow their husband’s leadership, and to respect them fully
  • just as they submit to the Lord
  • just as the Church is subject to Christ
• The husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church
  • Note: For an organization to be fully functional, there must be a chain of authority. In the family, it is God’s will that the husband be the head of the wife, and that parents be over their children.
• Here is an opportunity for wives to demonstrate wisdom and value of an importance principle in God’s will: that of submission.

Reflection: If you are a woman and in a relationship, do you fully submit to the man in your life? If you are not in a romantic relationship, what are your views on the place that a woman should be in a relationship?

3. Husbands should love their wives (v. 25-32, 33a)

• Note: There is this concept of “praying for someone” that I haven’t really fully grasped yet. But for that wise suggestion, the following is a very good guideline on what exactly to pray for in a male partner.

• Characteristics of the love that husbands should be demonstrating:
  • Sacrificial
  • Purifying
  • Caring
  • Sustaining
  • Securing
  • Solid
• Husbands are to love their wives just as Christ loved the church, with a love that nourishes and cherishes their wives.
• Just as wives have the opportunity to demonstrate God’s wisdom concerning submission, so husbands are given the chance to demonstrate Christ’s love, ruling as a “benevolent monarch”

Reflection: If you are a man and in a relationship, do you fully love the woman in your life with the kind of love described here? If you are not in a romantic relationship, what are your views on the stands that a man should be in a relationship?

Challenge

• Take a close look at the romantic relationships around you, it may be your own, or your friends’, or your family’s, and measure them up against the standards we have just discussed.

• If you are in a relationship, read and discuss the above with your partner, and make a covenant that involves the words and inherent promises in the passage.