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I melt in your peace.

Lord, some days are harder than others. Some days I can’t bear the wanting. This is what it feels like to need something, I have never really felt it before.

If this is what you mean by a full life, then Lord, so be it.

Sometimes I think You are allowing this because of the years and years of my life that I have repressed wanting. That I have denied really needing anything.

Now I know what it feels like.

All I really need is You. The people around me are manifestations of Your love; Your love activated in my life. That’s why I need them as well.

But more than anyone else, I should need You more. I should trust You more.

It’s true that You soothe my spirit. It’s true that You calm my soul.

Crack my head open so that I won’t forget this.

Because in my sorrow, in my weakness, when I am thinking about all the things that can go wrong again, I regress to hopelessness and despair.

I don’t forget You, I can never really forget You. And yet my mind puts my despair first, and I am lost once again.

I am drunk with pain and hunger. My mind reels with the agony of it all.

And still I bring it before You. Lay it down before You. This is still my offering. This is still me, Your daughter coming before You, asking for Your mercy.

Your will be done Lord. Amen.