For as long as I can remember, I have always had arguments with myself. I’ve had entire conversations taking place in my head, intimating pros and cons, and more often than not leaning towards the negative.
(Among my college friends, I was regarded as a schizo. It was a self proclamation, my chosen moniker. I know now that it’s an insensitive misappropriation of a serious illness. I was young and arrogant, and have since been chastised.)
When I received Jesus Christ in my heart, the arguments turned to conversations with God. It turned into a realisation that yes, there is someone who is always listening. It became a validation of my near constant internal dialogue. My innermost desire to be listened to, to be regarded, was confirmed, and thereby granted.
Prayer and devotion replaced disquiet and debate. Rants and raves turned into quiet reflection, calm contemplation.
Of course (of course!) it’s not all roses and rainbows suddenly. I still rant. I still rage. But it’s different now. I’m friends with myself. And I love Jesus. Besides, He has already won every battle, therefore He is the answer to every possible argument I can ever have with myself, or with anyone.
Victorious before I’ve even begun to fight. I can only wish I’d met Him sooner.
