Making Love Last

370 1

21Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Wives and Husbands

22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Ephesians 5:21-33

Introduction

  • Recall the sort “walk” that is worthy of our calling:
    • walking together in unity (note: in communion with our community)
    • walking in truth and holiness (note: remembering our identity as Christians at all times)
    • walking in love, as light, and as wise
  • In what appears at first to be an abrupt change of direction, Paul begins to describe how wives and husbands are to conduct themselves.
  • However, the subject matter is not really as abrupt as it may appear, for Paul mentioned earlier:
    • how the Church is to make known the manifold wisdom of God (Ephesians 3:10)
    • how we are to walk in wisdom (Ephesians 5:15-16)
  • It is through family relationships that we can often do this more successfully that in any other way.
    • Through marriage we immediately come into contact with another family.
    • Through children we develop relationships with those in their schools, in their neighbourhood, etc.
  • Thus is it is through families that we have great potential to demonstrate the wisdom of God.
    • The same principles that underlie the Gospel message (submission, love, sacrifice, obedience, honesty, fairness) are to be displayed in our family relationships.
    • By example, then, we can demonstrate in our families what is truly good and right, and prepare others to be receptive to the Gospel message.

1. Everyone should submit to one another (v. 21)

  • Being submissive does not equal being weak.

    • Note: On the contrary, it takes a special sort of strength to show restraint when one has a tendency towards the complete opposite.
  • As children of God, we aim to be as Christ-like as possible.
    • Showing gentleness, humility, patience, and kindness in our actions and deeds at all times.
    • Ensuring that everything that comes out of our mouths is clean and kingdom-worthy and edifying.

Reflection: Are you still having problems with ‘submission’? What are some active, personal steps you can take in order to be a more submissive person?

2. Wives should submit to their husbands (v. 22-24, 34b)

  • Note: Full personal disclosure: this was one of the hardest verses for me to understand fully in the Bible.

  • Wives are to follow their husband’s leadership, and to respect them fully
    • just as they submit to the Lord
    • just as the Church is subject to Christ
  • The husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church
    • Note: For an organization to be fully functional, there must be a chain of authority. In the family, it is God’s will that the husband be the head of the wife, and that parents be over their children.
  • Here is an opportunity for wives to demonstrate wisdom and value of an importance principle in God’s will: that of submission.

Reflection: If you are a woman and in a relationship, do you fully submit to the man in your life? If you are not in a romantic relationship, what are your views on the place that a woman should be in a relationship?

3. Husbands should love their wives (v. 25-32, 33a)

  • Note: There is this concept of “praying for someone” that I haven’t really fully grasped yet. But for that wise suggestion, the following is a very good guideline on what exactly to pray for in a male partner.

  • Characteristics of the love that husbands should be demonstrating:
    • Sacrificial
    • Purifying
    • Caring
    • Sustaining
    • Securing
    • Solid
  • Husbands are to love their wives just as Christ loved the church, with a love that nourishes and cherishes their wives.
  • Just as wives have the opportunity to demonstrate God’s wisdom concerning submission, so husbands are given the chance to demonstrate Christ’s love, ruling as a “benevolent monarch”

Reflection: If you are a man and in a relationship, do you fully love the woman in your life with the kind of love described here? If you are not in a romantic relationship, what are your views on the stands that a man should be in a relationship?

Challenge

  • Take a close look at the romantic relationships around you, it may be your own, or your friends’, or your family’s, and measure them up against the standards we have just discussed.

  • If you are in a relationship, read and discuss the above with your partner, and make a covenant that involves the words and inherent promises in the passage.

1 comment

  1. Grass fades, flowers fade away, but the Word of God remains the same.

    Does it ever.

Leave a Reply