One of my earliest thoughts when I attended Hope Church was a very distressing realization that I did not know the words to the songs they were singing. I have been attending Catholic Church since I was very young, and ever since I could remember, I have always known the words to the songs in Church. Even if it was the first time I heard them, I could usually pick out the tunes and the words by the time the second chorus was sung. I joined choirs, and even had the responsibility as a leader to pick out which songs to sing during services. Nevertheless, its been so long since I was exposed to Church. I knew that there would be different songs, but still, realizing that I was so out of touch with spirituality to actually be lost during a service was really scary for me. I thought there was no way for me to catch up.
I remember asking God in my head, is this your way of telling me I’m not welcome here?
And so continuing on the theme of “I know I need all the help I can get”, including helping myself, I loaded all the songs I downloaded yesterday into my cellphone, and went to town and finally bought mobile headsets. I didn’t get the Bluetooth ones that I wanted, cause all the stores were out, but I didn’t want that to stop me, so I just settled for the conventional wired ones. Full disclosure: they were 5 times cheaper, so that’s also good =P
I plugged it in immediately and used it in the bus on the way home, and I was smiling to myself when the music started. Some of the songs were already familiar, and I was so happy. I let the feeling wash over me, and it was glorious, and for a little while I was ecstatic.
I have three full Hillsong albums, but the song I was listening to over and over again all night was not in the albums. I had downloaded an FLV-MP3 converter, converted the youtube movie I found yesterday, and made do with Daniel Choo’s rendition of it. I want to listen to it over and over again until I know all the words, then I would have at least one new Church song I know by heart, then maybe I won’t feel as lost anymore.
