Before writing this down I was actually in bed already. As usual, I wasn’t able to read the text this morning, but figured I’ll do it tonight. But I got lost on the Internet again, and it was getting late, and I thought I would read it in tomorrow morning instead, compromising in my head with a retroactive reflection.
I washed and dressed, closed the lights, got between the sheets, and closed my eyes thinking, and tried to go to sleep. But I couldn’t. I know I’ve been having a hard time going to sleep recently, but it felt different tonight. I wasn’t sleepy at all, and if felt like my day hasn’t ended yet, wasn’t supposed to end yet. And I knew exactly what I had to do.
So I got up and read the text I knew I should have done in the first place, and now I feel better. There was nothing compulsary about it, no one twisted my arm to do it, and I just did it cause I knew I wouldn’t sleep if I didn’t. And it was as simple as that.
Now I’m even thinking of buying a long white nightgown to go with this image of a child kneeling down in front of a candle and doing the now-i-lay-me-down-to-sleep routine. Sweet and simple.