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Right now I think I’m the lowest of the low. I think the worst of myself. I can’t even change my expressions. I look terrible. I look mean and ugly. I should be kept in a room all to myself. I’m not worthy to be seen, or be seen by anyone.

I’m insufferable.

Because if your own husband rejects you, what else could you be?

I can’t cook. I don’t do household chores regularly. I don’t know how to do the laundry. I’m lazy to learn.

And aren’t all these things necessary for a successful marriage?

I have imposter syndrome. I think myself greater than what I really am.

I have an insecurity complex. I think I’m not as good as other people, and I hide it with bravura and arrogance.

I might have ADD, and my attention span is very very short. It’s manageable, but I’m too stubborn to change.

I don’t know how to listen actively. I’m not teachable.

Also, I’m old and my eyes are growing dim. My skin doesn’t heal fast. My flesh marks easily, and they remain scarred.

These are all not good qualities in a wife.

1 comment

  1. How depressing. She was really going through it wasn’t she?

    Alright then.

    Some of these things are still true. And some are monumentally dramatic and overly hyperbolic.

    But yeah some still hold true. I am old. But I’m wearing glasses now. Only for reading though.

    My skin is ok haha. I take collagen every day. And I do so much exercise that I think my system is well regulated. My skin is fair. My lips are red.

    I still have a lot of scars, but that old cliche about scars telling stories is also true in this case. Bring on the marks.

    But who cares about wifely qualities? I never had them, and I never will, and that’s completely FINE.

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