Daniel Fast – Day 3

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I got sick.

Three days in, and I caved! That sounds terrible, but it’s really not that bad.

I had a really intense internal struggle over this fast. “Tearing up in a public bus” type of upset. “Crying in front of others” level of intense.

I hate crying in front of other people. I feel really uncomfortable when I do it. But this fast had got me so down, had me struggling so badly that I resorted to it during a worship session where there were other people (eep). And I was the one leading.

Anyway, I struggled is what I’m saying.

And through it all, here’s what I learned:

1) Remember that it’s about God. It’s all about Him. It’s not my own personal goals, or my own desires that count during fasting — it’s all for Him. The strength, the leading, the will — it’s all from Him. It’s all about Him.

2) God does not want us to suffer. Yes, He wants us to have the full experience, of everything that life has to offer, within His realm and reason, and that does sometimes include pain. But there is always a lesson to be learned in whatever experience it is.

3) There is a difference between fasting and self-inflicted pain. Fasting is supposed to open us up more to what God is saying. It is a spiritual discipline, that involves those two things, inclusively. If it’s no longer spiritual (i.e. if your physical body cannot transcend the struggle to break through to the spirit), then it’s not Godly fasting anymore. The word “discipline” implies a strength of will, but even that will has to come from God. If God is not the one enacting the will, if the discipline is merely self-enforced stubbornness, then it’s not Godly fasting anymore.

I have fasted many times before, and this is the first time I felt defeated.

And that is the lesson that I had to learn. Defeat. Despair. Desperation. In order to understand, to the very core of my being, that God is the one leading, lifting up, bringing me from strength to strength, and glory to glory, I had to be brought down.

And brought down I was. On Day 3 no less!

Hallelujah! I thank you Lord for all that You are in my life. For all that You teach, for the places You bring me to, for all that You reveal.

#fasting #danielfast

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