Stronger than you

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I found this in my notes, dated way back in June 3, 2016. My calendar says we had a birthday surprise for Ate Edna, so the fight or whatever it was must have happened afterwards.

I sound so smart here. So poised and articulate. I’m sure I was seething, because notice the lack of periods. What an affectation. And I was clairvoyant! Who knew?!

Tomorrow I’ll forgive you but before I forget
I need to remember how mean you can be
How bad your temper is
While there’s still time to pull back
I need to remember that there might come a time when all the damage that has been done makes something so weak as to withstand any more assault
I need to remember that God’s love is infinite, and though I draw from His fountain, it doesn’t necessarily have to be all for you
God loves you unconditionally, and He is stronger than I’ll ever be
I need to remember that you have been with me so long that you know that you’ll be forgiven, but that you have no idea of the damage that you’re doing by being so comfortable hurting me
I need to remember how weak you can be, how you can give in so easily to anger when you feel your pride is being threatened
I’m confused sometimes, because I know I need to lift you up, encourage you, but I also know it’s not a good idea to spread false teaching
I need to remember that I’m strong, stronger than you, and that you don’t even know the real me
I need to remember that I need someone more sophisticated than you
Someone who can argue better, with honest words instead of taunting and senseless back talk
Someone who seeks to solve rather than to destroy
Someone who knows how to put others first, emotions second

It’s like a message from myself, to myself, but from the past rather than from the future. Awesome sauce.

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