A long time ago I had a hard time saying, “I don’t know.”
I mean, I can say the words, but inside, I hated it. I had to know. I had to know things. I had to know what things were, or how to do them, or how they worked.
And so I devoured books and magazines, and any kind of reading material that I could get a hold of. I read encyclopedias from A to Z, literally cover to cover. I even read instruction manuals, and dictionaries, and text books of any kind.
(I drew the line at self-help books though. But that is a self-confessed disfunctional-childhood story for another day.)
When I discovered the Internet, I had to be scolded to go offline, because it was the age of dial-ups, and I tied up our phone lines.
It stems from not wanting to feel helpless and ignorant. I abhorred stupidity. I was arrogant and naive in my insistence that those who didn’t intentionally seek out knowledge were deprived.
Goodness those were dark days.
Now, what a blessed relief it is to be able to let all that go. What pure delight it is to be able to say, with a smile on my lips and a flutter in my heart, that “I Don’t Know.” What a glorious feeling to be able to admit that I don’t know things, that I don’t know how to do things, and that I don’t know how everything works.
Because now I know that it doesn’t matter.
God knows.
That’s not just an expression, like in the way that Hollywood uses it in scripts, almost as a curse, a throwaway expression.
God knows.
He knows the universe inside and out. Every nook and cranny, every stone and pebble and grain of sand, every atom of every molecule of every thing and everything.
God knows.
And because He does, I don’t have to. He will let me know (in His timing, in His wisdom, in His love). He will tell me what to do (with His Word, with His voice). He will show me how to do things, how to live, how to love.
God knows all.
I am Jon Snow — I know nothing ^^. And I’m 100% ok with that.